Dreams

Delightful dreams

Playing inside the mind

Just imprison the pleasant thoughts

They are not settling in one place

And So many memorable thoughts

Elusive like the slippery eel

Every time heart beats more rapidly

When the thoughts draw closer

The faster the beat

Every cell senses the excitement

It is like electrifying shock

Stimulating and thrilling

Feel the tremors from head to toe

Jolting the nerves

Feel like singing

Desire to dance

Wish to hug

The thrill continues

Even if the dream ends

Again, dream. dream . dream

If the memories are good!!!

---Meena.

P.S. I think dream is the only thing in this world we can get freely without anyone's interruption.or we can be disturbed by the calling bell..hehehe..anyways, I dedicate this poem to my friends. Misty and Neethu . They are always telling me to write normal stuff or dreamy romantic poems.... so here it is. I hope it is good...if not please, don't blame me girlsJ

I want to know the real reason - i want everyone to participate in this wanderings i have been thro for long so long -

1. why are we born here - wat reason
2. why education - school - college etc etc etc
3. why all the bragging about rich - poor
4. why should we FALL in love and get hurt - to know wat
5. why should we go for work
6. why should we earn
7. why should we get married
8. why do we have to be parents
9. why again all that we went thro our kids should go thro -
10.why death - birth - nonsense around us all the time -
11. why should we go to temple / church / mosque etc etc
12. why caste system

FREINDS THESE STUFFS COMES TO ME EVERY NOW AND THEN - AND WHEN I ASKED A FEW - THEY SAID LIFE IS ALL ABOUT EXPERIENCE - I ASKED THEM - EXPER FOR WHAT - LOOK MY POINT IS - WE EXPER ALL THIS AND DIE - I WILL ACCEPT IF ALL THESE EXPER HELPS US IN OUR NEXT BIRTH - ITS NOT GOING TO - AGAIN WE WILL BE BORN THE SAME MUFF AND START OVER ALL AGAIN - SO LETS START A HEALTHY DISCUSSION - NO FUN HERE FRIENDS - JUST PLAIN STRAIGHT STUFFS..

good luck to all who read this - pls think

P.S. This is my old friend Rock agade's post. I am posting this with his permission. I am posting exactly the same post, not deleting or editing anything....enjoy. This is his link rock agade

Losing someone is not that easy

Seeing them suffering

Seeing them cry

All makes our heart tear apart

We feel useless

We feel desperate

Trying our hands on every possible way

To keep them comfortable

We know they are going to die

But we care

And we pray,

For two things..

Let them live peacefully

On the other hand, take them immediately

Bcoz we can't stand them suffer

All sounds cruel...

However, the reality is horrible

Sleepless nights

Angry words

Painful cries

God is unkind at times

Finally

God decided to hear our plea

He took him

Thank you god for your kindness at last!

My chithappa(my father's first younger bro) died bcoz of liver cancer. We love him dearly, he is one of the most wonderful and kindest person in the world. his last wish was, the whole family has to stay with him ..and we did that.. I am happy that we are all close nit family and we as well fulfilled his last wish that is the least we can do for him. All his brothers, sister and his two daughters and son, 20 to 25 of our family members stayed with him for 40days, last month 22^nd he died. He suffered too much pain ..Constant killing pain.. Finally, god had mercy on him and took him.

He requested me many times, Meena give me Morphine so I can pass away peacefully in my sleep and he was a retired head pharmacist in the government hospital. He told me few medicines that can put him into peaceful sleep.. in other words, mercy killing. I asked him only one question, tell me did you ever mercy kill anyone, he said no. then I said I cant also do that.....anyways, I told him jokingly that I am going to write a thriller novel after returning to my home about his elaborate medicine talking's.

Two days before he passed away, he asked me to hit him on the head. I asked him, why chithappa, he said so that I can pass away. I kissed him on the cheek and playfully asked my cousin bro, pl, bring an iron rod so I can hit him.. My uncle broke out into a laugh, we all laughed, that was his last laugh. Then I told him, we are praying for him that is the best we can do for him, he said ok, then I am taking back my words. That day, we all in fact had a goodtime including my uncle, I am happy that i made him very comfortable in talking about anything to me.

He does not want anyone to cry. He even cried sometimes and after that, he laughed and said I am like Shivaji the famous actor in Tamil movies.

Apart from writing about funny and sad things one question is bothering me a lot...

Why cannot government think about giving morphine or any other drug to chronic ill patients? They are suffering too much pain. In some way, I support mercy killing. May be I sound cruel but I saw three members of my family suffered from this chronic illness.

P.S. My two months absence is due to this only. My summer holiday started well but within one week all turned up side down. Well, I will read others post whenever I get time.

Thank you friends for your kind enquiries, I am happy to come back to iland.

Meena.

If we say, something is not there

Then there is nothing in there

But if we constantly

Hear there is something in there

Then someday

We come to believe

Something must be there

Words and thoughts

Always have some power

If we continue to hear and talk about them

Then the illusion,

Looks real!

It is fate

That, we humans are weak

To eliminate all in the first place

But, we learn the difference

In the end.!

---Meena.

Marina, the Second longest beach in the world and beautiful beach too. Government is doing all possible things to make this beach clean and beautiful. The problem is our common citizens, who never mind to litter the beach without worrying about anything... For them other places are nothing.. except their home, outside their home they can do anything they want.

One of the bad habit of our Indian peoples. they keep their home clean (I think this is also entirely not true.hygiene and Indians never go hand in hand), but they never bother about public properties, they don't even have any idea, government is spending our taxes to maintain the public properties.

This has nothing to do with education, I see young educated people and even rich peoples litter wherever they stand, this is not just a stupid musing.i am seeing all kind of people.. Is this education teaching them anything???

Coming back to marina, I have seen this beach all my life, in my school days, it looked better, clean and neat, but now the population is too high and beach going people are very high also, one of the main reason.this is the only place in Chennai you don't need to worry about money.

Government is doing all kind of beautification work in and around the beach, they are spending crores sometimes, but our common citizens never bother about anything. They throw papers and bottles and all kind of garbage on the beach, even government provided designed garbage bins, funny all disappeared also, anyway, even if it is in place also, our citizens never worry or bother.

In addition, famous Indian style of red painting on Indian roads and walls and of course all possible places.spitting.I think government must take actions against this, ban all this pan and all tobacco materials, but they won't do that (they banned, but who cares), the high revenue and of course political supports.

I travel in a garbage cart daily, yes..Suburban trains, I am not blaming railways it is about common commuters, they spit, they litter they make sure when they get down from the train, the train should look like garbage yard not even dustbin. Once or twice, I had fight with commuters for this, they blasted out at me this is not your father's train...hehehe.. of course, it is not J.. Southern railway is keeping the trains clean only I never ever blame railways. (I would like to write other bad things about railways some other time)

When are our people going to learn to keep the city clean, why don't they think this is our land, and what ever the government is spending, is our tax money.

We blame the government for not doing anything, it is always easy to blame. There are so many things the government is doing in the civic amenities, but we do not use them properly and we neglect the hygienic part totally out. Hygiene is a quite rare in Indians, we have been getting worse than better.

Why. ... are we not educating anything properly? Are we selfish? Do we know any value about public properties? Are we all getting uncivilized? We are ready to talk about things which government is not doing to us, but are we not ready to talk and protect the things that government is doing to us??? Too many questions ..

I am relived now after writing this post, I cannot stop anything, but I can muse about it na J)) like a typical Indian, who can talk but cant do anything in action .he he he..fair enuf..

Hi friends,

Just to clear some friend's questions about my prose and poems...

Whatever I write, poems or prose they are all common things that are all happening or has happened to most of the people. I have a very big family and friends circle and lot of cousin bros and sis and we are all very close. Therefore, whenever I hear things from them and from my friends also I write about that in a diary or note it down in the pc (this pc. taken off my good habit.. my writing in the diary, I think I am getting very lazy..hehehe) but I always try to understand human behavior, that is one of my fascination. Whenever I get time, I try to put them into prose or poem.

I am always my kids' first friend and I always share with them the same way they share with me.

Sometimes i write about my family and I specifically mention that also in the 'P.S', other than that not all are personal. I relate to people and, they relate to me, as well as there is always mutual trust between us. Some of them ready to talk to me, even unknown people. Personally, I always try to help others if it is possible. Whoever has been reading my post from the beginning know about that also. I always listen to people. I do not talk much I am not a talker, but if necessary, if the situation requires I talk. However, in net it is amazingly different.

So, please do not think whatever I am writing is all-personal. This is one of the good medium, I like to get answers to my and others questions and I like others to know that we are all same apart from our differences of culture, language and tradition. Men or women it does not matter but somehow we all are same in some matters, I am writing that only.

I observe people.

So, do not take anything personally. Please, do not be offended and imagine anything.

Warm Regards,

Meena.

They are thinking very independently even before the appropriate age.

I hope that is not bad at all. They know what they want in their life. They know how to get what they want. They know, what prompts them to grow. but what bothers me is .. Their full-fledged independent thoughts and the way they give reasons for their thoughts.

May be we are happy, that our new generation is managing well. Except for one thing, they lack the compassion that we have towards human beings. This is not a criticism and I am not even cynical or anything. just my concern about this new generation behavioral changes.they are very sensitive at the same time they are isolated from the real humans touch.

Independent thoughts gives lot of freedom, freedom gives lot of confidence, confidence sometimes leads into over confidence.. there should be balance between confidence and over confidence.. That is not possible to young minds.

If they are too independent and over confident it destroys their survival instincts, even a moderate let down from their life also gets them into trouble. Independent in decision-making is an art and these kids lack the essence of that art. They can learn when their age progresses.. Until then they must have to accept our guidance.

Now they are not even ready to hear what elders are saying. Nevertheless, if they listen then they can make a good human being out of themselves, because these kids are really very sensitive and passionate about whatever they do.

......Self-analyzing.....

What I am going to write now is a common thing to each and every one, trying to find our true selves once in a while, just trying to analyze our past and try to correct our present, and to think about our future. This is one of the hardest things, bcoz this self analyzing thing is not just thoughts, this is the thought process which talks about actions whatever I had done in the past, my fear, my mistakes and my own thoughts, my good stuff.etc etc etc and the present and future too..

Whenever I am thinking about good things that I did, it always makes me feel good about me and I don't think it is wrong! But this thought process of my disappointments and wrong doings. It makes me worry and ponder. analyzing our inner mind is very painful process, I do not know others accept this or not. But once in a while I do this, but this past few months, I stopped this self analyzing process. Because of that, I made some mistakes, which I can set right, but for that, I needed to go within my mind to feel the pain, anger, justification, and in the end the authentic truth. Could I come out fresh and could I make sure of myself, that I will not do that mistake again and most importantly, will I have the courage and the ability to accept the truths and get better by them.....

It is easy to talk and write than to experience all the feelings. I am spending time taking care of family, reading books, time on net, reading, commenting, chatting, writing, helping ppl who really need my help and travelling too .etc etc etc. I am doing ALL, except for the quality time to myself, ALONE. I blissfully have forgotten this self-analyzing thing and I merrily avoided few things, but to be very honest, some things I had done It never meant to be, that has all happened without any thoughts that are all unconscious actions, some with my complete conscious mind, and some of my actions got twisted bcoz of that past unconscious actions. That is why, I needed to correct my actions.

Humans have one fear in life that is, analyzing about them. Occasionally to get to know the real persons inside our mind and heart, of course it is painful besides very blissful to know about the real us. It is like we are seeing every time a new person inside us it is not us but us, may be my talk looks like philosophical or stupid or blah blah..but honestly I know what I am feeling. Generally, We don't change ourselves every time but our good and bad habits changes periodically, that's what I am talking about... then again our basic character stays with us.

To analyze our inner self, first we undergo, justification, whether it is good or bad, we try to justify our actions, this is the main battle, we try to blame or praise others for our actions, and we try to justify all actions due to bcoz of others. Then the truth strikes then we undergo next process. Why we did this and that...etc this also leads to self-pity moods, we feel ugly, bad, and good. One of the good things about this is, we can truthfully analyze about our good things and bad things in this course of actions. Along with we can actually validate us, if we have the power to think rightly after initial hiccups.

After this painful process only, we can go to the next mode of thoughts. How to come out of this and how can we think rightly and do right things. it is not always easy to do good things or not to hurt anyone, which is not even possible. Except we can avoid some things and sometimes we cannot, for that we cannot take responsibility, but for most of the actions we can take responsibility and we can do better than this. that is the power of this self-analyzing process.freeing our sprit!

I am writing this not to prove anything, I am writing this because it feels so good to share and I already shared lot of things. this is a normal human thought process. I do not know whether I make any sense or not.but I don't mind sharing my thoughts.

How to change our Characters

Every work that we do, every movement of the body, every thought that we think, leaves such an impression on the mind-stuff, and even when such impressions are not obvious on the surface, they are sufficiently strong to work beneath the surface, subconsciously.

What we are every moment is determined by the sum total of these impressions on the mind. What I am just at this moment is the effect of the sum total of all the impressions of my past life. This is really what is meant by character; each man's character is determined by the sum total of these impressions. If good impressions prevail, the character becomes good; if bad, it becomes bad.

If a man continuously hears bad words, thinks bad thoughts, does bad actions, his mind will be full of bad impressions; and they will influence his thought and work without his being conscious of the fact. In fact, these bad impressions are always working, and their resultant must be evil, and that man will be a bad man; he cannot help it. The sum total of these impressions in him will create the strong motive power for doing bad actions. He will be like a machine in the hands of his impressions, and they will force him to do evil.

Similarly, if a man thinks good thoughts and does good works, the sum total of these impressions will be good; and they, in a similar manner, will force him to do good even in spite of himself. When a man has done so much good work and thought so many good thoughts that there is an irresistible tendency in him to do good, in spite of himself and even if he wishes to do evil, his mind as the sum total of his tendencies, will not allow him to do so; the tendencies will turn him back; he is completely under the influence of the good tendencies. When such is the case, a man's good character is said to be established.

If you really want to judge of the character of a man, look not at his great performances. Every fool may become a hero at one time or another. Watch a man do his most common actions; those are indeed the things which will tell you the real character of a great man. Great occasions rouse even the lowest of human beings to some kind of greatness, but he alone is the really great man whose character is great always, the same whatever he be.

All the actions that we see in the world, all the movements in human society, all the works that we have around us, are simply the display of thoughts, the manifestation of the will of man. Machines or instruments, cities, ships, or men-of-war, all these are simply the manifestations of the will of man; and this is caused by character, and character is manufactured by Karma. As is karma, so is the manifestation of the will.

The men of mighty will the worlds has produced have all been tremendous workers- gigantic soul, with wills powerful enough to overturn worlds, wills they got by persistent work, through ages, and ages.

We are what our thoughts have made us; so take care of what you think. Words are secondary. Thoughts live, they travel far. Each thought we think is tinged with our own character, so that for the pure and holy man, even his jests or abuse will have the twist of his own love and purity and do good.

---cont---

Four months before in our camp Chennai corporation opened a new children's park. It is so pleasant that I go there every day in the evening just to sit on the concrete bench and watch the kids play.

It is refreshing to see kids play without any worry. Even though they fight in between and cry but immediately, they get back to normal and start to play again.

Why can't we remain kids.. just be kids and happy. Parents will take care of us, we don't have to worry about anything.careless and happy.anyway there is study to worry about..:)

Coming back to this kid's park, we are genuinely happy that Chennai Corporation is making available open corporation places as Kids Park and walking spaces for adults. We have a place for walking. which is actually good for many elderly people. Some of the parks have artificial waterfalls, lot of green plants, which is feast to the eyes and mind..mostly it is in the city only.

Anyway, we can do two things at one time, kids can play and we can walk. Mostly it is useful for kids and aged people. One of the good things that the corporation is doing for Chennai people, and they are maintaining the park well that is a surprise to Chennai citizens. A hearty Thanks to corporation officials who are doing this with care and special thanks to political leaders, who didn't stop this good thing.