Losing someone is not that easy

Seeing them suffering

Seeing them cry

All makes our heart tear apart

We feel useless

We feel desperate

Trying our hands on every possible way

To keep them comfortable

We know they are going to die

But we care

And we pray,

For two things….

Let them live peacefully

On the other hand, take them immediately

Bcoz we can’t stand them suffer

All sounds cruel...

However, the reality is horrible

Sleepless nights

Angry words

Painful cries

God is unkind at times

Finally

God decided to hear our plea

He took him

Thank you god for your kindness at last!

My chithappa(my father’s first younger bro) died bcoz of liver cancer. We love him dearly, he is one of the most wonderful and kindest person in the world… his last wish was, the whole family has to stay with him ….and we did that.. I am happy that we are all close nit family and we as well fulfilled his last wish that is the least we can do for him. All his brothers, sister and his two daughters and son, 20 to 25 of our family members stayed with him for 40days, last month 22^nd he died.   He suffered too much pain ..Constant killing pain…. Finally, god had mercy on him and took him.

He requested me many times, Meena give me Morphine so I can pass away peacefully in my sleep and he was a retired head pharmacist in the government hospital.  He told me few medicines that can put him into peaceful sleep…. in other words, mercy killing.   I asked him only one question, tell me did you ever mercy kill anyone, he said no. then I said I cant also do that.....anyways,  I told him jokingly that I am going to write a thriller novel after returning  to my home about his elaborate  medicine talking’s.

Two days before he passed away, he asked me to hit him on the head. I asked him, why chithappa, he said so that I can pass away. I kissed him on the cheek and playfully asked my cousin bro, pl, bring an iron rod so I can hit him…. My uncle broke out into a laugh, we all laughed, that was his last laugh. Then I told him, we are praying for him that is the best we can do for him, he said ok, then I am taking back my words. That day, we all in fact had a goodtime including my uncle, I am happy that i made him very comfortable in talking about anything to me. 

He does not want anyone to cry. He even cried sometimes and after that, he laughed and said I am like Shivaji the famous actor in Tamil movies.

 Apart from writing about funny and sad things one question is bothering me a lot…….

Why cannot government think about giving morphine or any other drug to chronic ill patients? They are suffering too much pain. In some way, I support mercy killing. May be I sound cruel but I saw three members of my family suffered from this chronic illness. 

P.S. My two months absence is due to this only. My summer holiday started well but within one week all turned up side down. Well, I will read others post whenever I get time.

Thank you friends for your kind enquiries, I am happy to come back to iland.

Meena.